


I can't believe someone broke my dad's back over a doujin?!

by MioyatThePineapple



Category: Fire Emblem Heroes
Genre: Gen, not worth tagging, there's a tiny bit of background chrobin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-25 22:41:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16207151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MioyatThePineapple/pseuds/MioyatThePineapple
Summary: The events leading up to Morgan mercilessly destroying Nina in the voting gauntlet.





	I can't believe someone broke my dad's back over a doujin?!

**Author's Note:**

> I literally sat down and wrote this in one sitting. My only regret about its creation is the fact that the context surrounding it involves Robin losing another voting gauntlet....
> 
> Artistic liberties were taken.

**And as usual, the title is exaggerated**

==

Robin knew what books were.

And generally, he _liked_ them, too. After all, they contained that which was most important in the entire world: knowledge, and the amount of knowledge was limited only by the amount of words. Nonfiction was a regular; _fiction_ was an indulgence, though one he gave into semi-regularly and without shame, because productivity wasn’t a resource that needed to be constantly cultivated, and besides- he enjoyed taking breaks.

Key word: generally.

Robin _knew_ books. And he liked them, too. What he was holding certainly had a cover and pages, it was bound, and it had words written inside- but he didn’t know if he could’ve called it a book. Because he liked reading books. And reading whatever it was he was holding evoked certain feelings- confusion, mostly- and those were definitely not the intended ones.

“Hey, dad!”

Those two words stirred a number of _other_ feelings- namely, _fear_ \- and he slammed the maybe-book shut, pasted an uncomfortable smile onto his face and tried acting completely normal. “What is it, sweetie?”

It was a shame he was a terrible actor. Morgan was many things, and _stupid_ was at the very bottom of the list. It took her a few seconds, which was what he had been expecting and less than he had hoped, to deduce that he was hiding something. “...what’re you holding behind your back?”

“...” Robin bit his lip.

Eyes narrowed. Suspicion rose to tangible levels.

Robin was a good tactician- part of the title was knowing when to admit to defeat. So, he prefaced with a sigh. “I need you to know one thing first- and you have to believe me.” He brought the object out from behind his back, still didn’t show it to her. “I found this in the lobby. It does _not_ belong to me.”

“...that’s just a book,” Morgan observed. And then- excitement. “Ooh! I bet this is a new test! Are you testing me? Is this part of the competition tonight-”

“No.” Robin shook his head. “It’s just…a book I found.”

Morgan frowned. “What’s so bad about the book?”

If Lucina had been present, she would’ve thrown the book so it broke through the palace windows and kept sailing until it landed in a world far, far away from her little sister and the rest of her family. Unfortunately, there was a distinct lack of Falchion in the hall, and of good judgement in general. Robin handed Morgan the book.

“Take a look at the cover.”

It took one second to look at it, two for it to sink in, and another for brows to furrow as she looked over it again. “...huh…?”

Robin nodded. Tiredly.

“That’s- is that you and father?”

Another nod.

“And- you’re wearing-”

Robin grimaced.

“And father is…”

“Inaccurate,” Robin provided, unhelpfully. “I’ve never seen him make that expression before in my life.”

Morgan made a face and handed the book back to Robin. “Were you _reading_ this?”

“Let it be known that I was not _enjoying_ it.”

“Honestly, I don’t know who would,” Morgan muttered. Father and daughter used their combine tactical skill to ruminate upon that thought for a moment. Only a moment, because their answer came as a shriek immediately after.

“ **_-nnNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!_ ** ”

Something _slammed_ into Robin- and perhaps that was too weak a word, because it did more than simply run into him. Face met floor in the span of a second, something in his ribs _cracked,_ there was an overpowering taste of copper in his mouth-

In the moment before blackness swallowed everything up, he saw a pair of braids attached to the volatile human canonball snatch up the book, which had skidded unceremoniously across the floor, then dart down the hall as Morgan screamed.

***

Vengeance, Robin concluded, was a lot less satisfying when you could only see it through one eye.

The other had been swollen shut from his impromptu contact with stone- and aside from that, he’d fractured something in his wrist in a vain attempt to stop the fall. The ribs, however, were still intact, if not heavily bruised, and thankfully everything else was too.

He wouldn’t be able to fight like this- not for one or two weeks, at least, which was somewhat frustrating, because the moment he’d woken up in the infirmary he’d wanted to march right down to wherever that daughter of Niles was hiding and _smother her_ \- but, on the other hand, and he smiled as he watched her run away, crying out in fear- on the other hand, revenge by proxy was as entertaining as it would’ve been directly.

“THAT’S WHAT YOU GET!” Morgan’s voice boomed. “THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR _HURTING MY DAD!_ ”

“Destroy her!” Robin cheered, waving a little blue flag.

Lucina, who had decided to watch the event- too little, too late, but not unwelcome- sighed. “Sometimes I wonder, between you and father, who I truly got my level-headedness from.”

“Funny. I don’t remember you being a shining beacon of rationality yourself, when you chased Prince Renais across the courtyard.”

Lucina _blushed_. “Yes, well- I had to avenge Father.”

“So _Chrom_ is worth avenging,” Robin noted. “Let me make a reminder to myself, Lucina, to dye my hair blue...perhaps I’ll tear all the sleeves off my clothing as well…”

“I’m not even participating in this gauntlet!” she protested.

“Then let your little sister do the avenging,” Robin suggested. The two watched as Nina screamed again and darted behind a column. A bolt of lightning followed immediately afterwards, going right past the column and leaving an indent in the ground that could’ve fit the daughter of a thief and then some.

“ **_STOP RUNNING!_ ** ”

“I DON’T WANNA DIE!” Nina sobbed.

Sitting beside them, Niles chewed on one of Gaius’s candies.

 

**Author's Note:**

> the name of the doujin is "I can't believe my white haired tactician secretly looks good in bunny ears, stockings, and shirtless?!"
> 
> @nina show us the forbidden texts


End file.
